Enchanted

November 30, 2007

Poor James Marsden. As I mentioned in the Hairspray review, he seems to have become the go-to “the other guy” in many big screen love triangles. But, really, if you’ve gotta be the third wheel, you can’t pick your love triangles better than Marsden (ah, mixed metaphors, gotta luv ’em).

As Cyclops, he blindly (sorry) fought for Jean Gray against Hugh Jackman’s bad boy Wolverine in the X-Men films (and Wolverine also got the spin-off, ouch). He was the guy who tried to keep Rachel McAdams for himself in the epic weepy The Notebook – but was naturally no match for Ryan Gosling in a rain storm. And finally, he even went up again the Man of Steel himself for Lois Lane’s heart – now that’s nerve – in Superman Returns.

The man just has no luck in the romance department – but as they might say, unlucky in love, lucky at the box office. X-Men, The Notebook, Superman Returns, and also Hairspray (in which he simply didn’t have a love interest at all) weren’t exactly box office duds. And his new film, Disney’s Enchanted, raked in $49.1 million over the Thanksgiving weekend, attaining the comfortable height of second-highest Thanksgiving gross behind Toy Story 2, according to Box Office Mojo.

In Enchanted, Marsden actually plays Prince Charming himself and he still can’t get the girl (trust me, I’m not giving anything away here – did you really think McDreamy wasn’t the main love interest?). Nevertheless, he throws himself into the over the top role with abandon, as he always does, rounding out a very aesthetically pleasing cast that is clearly having fun in this enjoyable film.

In the movie, Amy Adams (Junebug, Catch Me If You Can, that handbag girl on The Office) plays Giselle, a literal fairy tale princess in the animated land of Andalasia (not quite as catchy as Never Never Land, but okay). Think the world of Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, but not taking itself very seriously, and also kind of slow, and you’ve got the gist of the first ten minutes or so of the film. Seconds before her wedding to Prince Charming (Marsden), Giselle is cast out of Andalasia by – who else? – her soon-to-be stepmother (Susan Sarandon), who just happens to also be a Snow White-esque evil witch with an unhealthy apple obsession.

Popping out of a manhole in the middle of NYC’s Times Square, but with her sparkling white wedding dress fully intact (it’s a grimeless manhole, apparently), a now real life Giselle eventually falls, again literally, into the arms of the anti-Prince Charming, a divorce lawyer and single dad played by Grey’s Anatomy‘s Patrick Dempsey. Meanwhile, Prince Charming, along with one of the queen’s sycophants and Giselle’s squirrel pal, try to find Giselle in the real world. Many culture clashes ensue. West meets… well, further West, if you want to take Tolkien’s view of things. Or the other side of a magical wormhole, if you believe the film’s.

My boyfriend, a big foodie, often says that the best way to judge a restaurant is to see if it “accomplishes well what it sets out to do.” You can’t compare a neighborhood pizza joint to a four-star restaurant (or three-star, if you’re going the Michelin route), because clearly the pizza joint is not aiming for the same goal. The same holds true for Enchanted – it’s obviously not The English Patient, but it never set out to be. It’s not Beauty and the Beast either, but I, for one, did not expect it to be.

It’s light, fun, and it’s got some good chuckles (Dempsey’s daughter tells Giselle that boys only want one thing, but then isn’t sure what that one thing is; the queen’s servant tries to get Giselle to drink a poisoned apple martini). Plus, the music ain’t bad. They even got Disney music guru Alan Menken (Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin) to compose it.

Like any solid, middle-of-the-road romantic comedy, there are some unfortunate misses and some awkward, doesn’t quite work moments. Sure, having cockroaches and rats help Giselle clean up an apartment is clever – those are the kinds of animals available in NY, get it? no cuddly deer and bunnies there – but watching rats pour into a room is a lot less icky in Pixar animation. Nevertheless, it’s good, guilty pleasure entertainment. If you don’t come expecting Disney to make a sharp satire of itself, or definitely not a new Who Framed Roger Rabbit? for that matter, you won’t be disappointed. If you come looking for a fun, harmless, gentle (and feminist-ically modern! …or so it hopes to be anyway) romantic comedy, you’ll leave happy.

For you Wicked fans, look for Idina Menzel (the play’s original Wicked Witch), who looks a bit unsure of herself in her role as Dempsey’s “strong professional” girlfriend. And for any Bones fans out there, watch out for a seriously underutilized Michaela Conlin in a brief, probably no more than five second appearance at the end of the film. One can only hope her scenes were cut for time.

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No Country for Old Men

November 28, 2007

The first thing you notice is the quiet. You forget how crucial, how instrumental (pun, I admit it, intended) a movie’s score is, until you barely hear one. Would Jaws have been nearly as scary without those thumping beats? Is Darth Vader as imposing and intimidating without John Williams’s triumphant, lordly intro?

Thrillers and horror in particular make use of music’s impact – telling you when to feel worried (that crescendo of anticipatory sound), and when to realize it’s over through the film’s score. In fact, the only silence you usually get in these film genres is that heartbeat before something attacks, the crescendo and then the hush before the blow.

Yes, the Coen brothers’ No Country for Old Men does have a score – it says so in the credits (and it’s apparently composed by Carter Burwell, a Coen staple) – but I can’t for the life of me think where it was. Fortunately for my sanity, I’m not the only one; The New Yorker calls the score “little more than a fitful murmur.”

The lack of sound does something both freeing and frightfully disturbing: it makes you feel for yourself. The score doesn’t tell you when the implacable, psychopathic killer Anton Chigurh (a darkly humorous and impassive, walking undead Javier Bardem, with that now infamous head of hair) is going to attack – there is no build up, no musical signals to warn you about what is going to happen. Just like Chigurh’s odes to Two-Face (he too sometimes flips a coin to decide a victim’s fate), just like life, the musical score, or lack thereof, lets you feel the full impact of randomness, helplessness, and the petrifying nature of an unknown future, whether that future is one second or one lifetime away.

The score also has an accomplice in No Country‘s dialogue and cinematography. There is no real shouting, no screaming for blood or mercy. Lots of grunting though, accompanied by some knowing smiles and measured talk. There are also barely any camera shots that anticipate what’s going to happen, no panning out to show you that there is probably something or someone lurking just out of sight, in that dark corner of the garage. It shows you what’s happening, the faces of the people involved and the lifeless, stretching scenery around them, and that’s about it. What comes, comes.

And that’s the soul of this disquieting (sorry, just couldn’t stop myself) adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s critically acclaimed novel of the same name. It’s quiet, deliberate, direct, unflinching; an unguided tour of flat, dispassionate reality. Well, almost unguided, anyway. The closest thing you get to a guide is the sheriff, played with deep sadness and one eyebrow raised by Tommy Lee Jones. But even as he narrates portions of the tale, the sheriff, on the trail of Chigurh and that killer’s own target Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin), doesn’t know what’s coming any more than you do. As he himself says, he’s “outmatched.”

The story of a man, Moss, who stumbles across a drug deal gone bad (it’s so bad even the dog is dead) and thinks he can get away with its left-behind spoils of 2 million bucks, No Country coolly states that this is the way things are, or can be, take it or leave it. As Moss runs from Chigurh’s relentless hired killer, you sometimes think he’s in (way) over his head, but sometimes not. You are sometimes sure Chigurh is going to attack with that cattle gun, and sometimes not. You sometimes think Moss and his wife Carla Jean (Kelly MacDonald) will maybe, just maybe get to enjoy the money in the end, but often not. It’s bleak, but it’s not apologetic. It just is.

Which is why the appearance of Woody Harrelson’s cocky hired gun (Carson Wells) in a sleek, big city office, sitting before Stephen Root’s sleek, big city desk (he probably has 50 red staplers in there) seems so out of place. Wait, is this a movie again? Nothing against Woody, or certainly cult fave Root as a drug businessman, but their polished Hollywood demeanor, with Woody’s cool drawl, feels like a whole different movie. From the silent tumbleweeds of reality to the glossy halls of a Hollywood drug man is a bit of an unsettling leap for this darkly murmuring film.


Holiday Gift Guide 2007: the movie edition

November 27, 2007

By now, you’ve probably seen at least several hundred of these (I could be exaggerating – but sadly, or disturbingly, I don’t think so). But hey, what’s one more to add to the pile?

See, I like to wait until the web is totally oversaturated with exactly the same content to publish my own contribution to the excess. Or for the precise moment when many people don’t even want to think about shopping for a whole ‘nother week after spending six hours standing outside of Best Buy in the wee hours of the morning after Thanksgiving (you know who you are) – and then walking home, uphill, hopefully in the snow. In any case, I find it much more thrillingly extraneous that way. Or so I tell myself.

With that said, here are some of my own recommendations for what to get that incurable movie fanatic you know and love. I mean, there’s bound to be at least one in every family, right? Or am I just writing my own holiday wish list? Well, either way – hopefully my family is paying attention…

(all prices are retail, and thus pre-any sort of discount, such as the standard Amazon deductions)

Stocking stuffers

Or gifts for the other seven nights. Or, well, whatever the case may be. You get the idea.

Pure fun miscellany – If you’re in New York, buy a can of EVIL, some powdered antimatter and other superhero stuff at the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store. If you’re in San Francisco, buy pirate goodies at the Pirate Supply Store. Seattle: space travel necessities at the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. LA or Ann Arbor: time travel essentials (Echo Park Time Travel Mart) and monsters-in-your-closet supplies (The International Monsters Union) respectively.

Sound far-fetched? Fortunately for kids at heart everywhere (and, of course, actual kids), it’s not! For more information on these real life stores, click here.

Gift cards – If you don’t live in any of these cities, or don’t have easy access to one of them, there are, of course, many alternatives.

A Netflix gift subscription is always a fun option (and addictive, I’m on my, um, 23rd month or so past the three I originally got as a gift), and a gift certificate for a movie theater chain is easy, affordable and flexible. Almost all movie theaters have them, even the most staunchly independent ones. With ticket prices soaring to $11 (and no matinees) in cities like New York, and that’s not including the $4.50 small popcorn, your friend or family member will thank you.

And of course, finally, an iTunes gift certificate will let them download their favorite movies onto that new iPod nano you caved in and got them.

The book Cinescopes: what your favorite movies reveal about you – One of those “laugh over after opening and then forget” presents (we’ve all gotten them), it’s nonetheless the type of gift we all need during holiday bonding time with the family. $14.95 at Kitson.

DVDs – Basic, yes, but certainly not the easy way out. Individual DVDs are the fun, simple item that many people want but don’t want to actually spend the extra cash on to get themselves. I mean, really, you’re doing them a favor.

Solid

Candy Princess Kit – If you just can’t deal with one more Disney Princesses toy in your home, but someone you know is desperate for something royal after seeing Enchanted, try this fun gift basket ($50) from the famous Willy Wonka-esque candy store, Dylan’s Candy Bar. Sure, you won’t be able to drag the recipient from the walls, but most of it will probably be gone by the next morning. It includes pretty much everything you could ever think of that involves a Disney princess and sugar.

Film journal – I think we can all agree that no one actually uses these, apart from that diligently filled out first entry, of course. But if you have a Phoebe Cates fan on your list, you can cleverly point out that this elegant film journal ($45.00) came from her boutique in New York. That’s practically 3 degrees of separation!

Books and graphic novels – Sure, books that have recently been turned into films make great gifts, but if you understandably want to avoid the “Oh… Great… A book… Thanks…” response, check out these bound alternatives.

Stardust – The fairy tale (but not, I repeat not, with Disney’s G-rated fairies) graphic novel on which the Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer special effects flight of fancy is based.

300 – Before it was an ultraviolent, testerone-fueled box office heavyweight, it was an ultraviolent, testerone-fueled graphic novel about the historic battle of Thermopylae in ancient Greece (it’s almost an educational book, really…). Other novels by Hollywood golden boy Frank Miller that have been adapted into film: Sin City and The Dark Knight Returns (not directly, but still very influential; see Tim Burton’s Batman)

Scott Pilgrim – Get a jump start on this 2009 film by reading the indie graphic novel on which it’s based. A boy must fight off his new girlfriend’s 7 evil exes – tongue-in-cheek, martial arts video game style. Vol. 4 just came out, but for you newbies, start with – what else? – Vol. 1.

Pretty much anything by Alan Moore – Disgruntled Hollywood golden boy Moore has written the graphic novels that inspired The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, V for Vendetta, From Hell, and the upcoming Watchmen (2009).

If books are in the cards, however, try these:

His Dark Materials – Controversy or not, these elegant, and at times emotionally wrenching, tales for young adults are a must for fantasy fans. The first book in this three volume series by Philip Pullman is the basis for the new Golden Compass epic film.

No Country for Old Men – It has certainly been Cormac McCarthy’s year. Between the Pulitzer and Oprah’s Book Club selection for his bleak The Road and the critical acclaim for the film adaptation of No Country‘s disturbing tale, McCarthy is having a good holiday.

Beowulf – Lure them in with Angelina Jolie, keep them (for a time at least) with Seamus Heaney’s actually intelligible translation of the classic English poem. And no, this is not just my own revenge for having to read this in high school – after all, my class didn’t just read it. We had to listen to it read to us in Old English, with a lyre, for hours. Well, maybe I should take back that revenge comment…

Why not?

“Ultimate” DVD collections – They’re hefty, pricey and they’ve got that “cool, lots of stuff” factor. As a very early collector of the comics, I’m partial to the Superman Ultimate Collector’s Edition ($99.98 – but phew, not $100!), which comes with 14 discs (including the Richard Donner version of Superman II and loads of extras) and total non-portability.

But perhaps your gift recipient is a Bond fan? Check out the James Bond Ultimate Collector’s Set ($289.98) with its whopping 42 discs (Never Say Never Again and other “unofficials” not included).

As for me, I’m actually hoping for the collector’s set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer – was that too subtle of a hint? Mom?

Other “Ultimates”:
Blade Runner Five-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition ($78.92) comes in one of those super spy, I’m handcuffed to this, shiny metal briefcases. Ooo, shiny.
Essential Art House – 50 Years of Janus Films ($850) might break the bank, but with 50 discs, you get a huge slice of indie film history all in one place.

Portable DVD player – A bit of a classic but always a good choice. I got one of these (plus that Netflix subscription) one year for the holidays and it was the best day (almost better than a basket of mini-muffins – sorry, in an oblique references to Friends mood) … Ah, materialism. For one that will last you beyond the next year’s holiday season, expect to pay about $150 and up.

Movie magazine subscription – Something they will literally enjoy (or at least receive) for a year. They range from mainstream (Entertainment Weekly) to humorously British (my favorite, Empire) to Hollywood (Variety). Depending on seasonal offers, a year’s subscription can run anywhere from about $20-40 (EW) to over $150 (international subscribers to Empire). For more film magazine options, click here.

Video editing software – For the aspiring filmmaker. Expect to pay around $70-$100 (from what I can tell). For help picking the right one (who can tell them all apart? capability to do what exactly?), if your budding director hasn’t given you very specific requests, go here for PC Mag’s detailed guide to buying video editing software.

The holidays only come once a year… right?

Maya and RenderMan – If you know someone who is really (really, really) into 3D animation – like, “Pixar or bust” into animation – then they are probably drooling over these computer programs, if they don’t have them already. Autodesk’s Maya software, “the current king-of-the-hill in high-end 3D animation software” (according to 3DRender.com), is the program to beat, and since you can’t get more name-brand than Pixar, throw the 3D animation king’s own rendering software into the mix as well with their RenderMan for Maya product.

Of course, you get what you pay for, and sadly, you will pay for these products: at about $4,000 and $1,000 respectively, these pricey animation gifts clearly eliminate any need for additional stocking stuffers – or any gifts for the next 10 years, for that matter.

James Bond accessories – Sure, that Ultimate DVD set is nice and all, but why just watch Bond when you can look like him? Check out Bond Lifestyle to find the stuff that the movie spy and his associates actually use and wear. Items range from the Omega watch seen in Casino Royale (about $2,500) to Brioni suits ($5,000-ish) to a sterling silver Aston Martin keychain (approx. $400).

The site also includes a list of the watches worn in the 007 films. They probably won’t shoot darts or help unzip a dress (not literally anyway), but nothing’s perfect. For a history of Bond watches, click here.

That Ferrari you’ve always wanted

Now that winning a part in a Will Ferrell movie is off the market, what gifts are there for a movie lover to dream about – or actually purchase, for those ridiculously wealthy people out there (any lottery ticket now!)?

Design your own Star Trek apartment – Although the original sold for over $800,000, get your own room, house or apartment transformed into an insanely authentic replica of the Star Trek starship by the guy who built it. No joke – if you haven’t seen pictures of what this guy did to his apartment, click here now to visit his official “24th Century Interior Design” website.

Orson Welles’s Citizen Kane Oscar – On December 11th, Sotheby’s is auctioning off the only Oscar that this über-acclaimed flick ever won (believe it or not): Best Writing, Original Screenplay. The Oscar was shared by Welles and Herman Mankiewicz. It’s expected to fetch around $1 million, but $800,000 at the very least. Steep, you say? Well, there’s nothing like literally holding Oscar glory in the palm of your hand. Or at least, Sotheby’s hopes so.

Home movie theater – Sure, that 60″ flat screen is nice, but really, it’s got nothing on a full-on luxury movie theater in your own home. In the US, companies like Gramophone, Sound Image and New England’s Home Entertainment Expo will design you a seriously jealousy-enducing home theater. Think huge leather chairs, fully integrated sound system, paneled walls, high definition lowered screen, and those essential movie curtain drapes. MTV Cribs will be knocking down your door within weeks – if they aren’t busy with those Star Trek-inspired homes of course.

If you don’t want to go quite this far, check out about.com’s list of movie theater accessories (from a projection screen to a vintage popcorn maker – nothing like the smell of popcorn throughout your entire house to make you feel that the expense was totally worth it).

Or go for the sleek accent look and purchase these stage / movie – style polished steel light fixtures from NY boutique staple, Mxyplyzyk (yep, named after that dimensional Superman villain, and it’s pronounced mix-ee-pliz-ik according to the store).

** For more similar, exactly the same and not so similar gift suggestions for movie fans, see Jenny Lauck’s thoughtful list. Also check out Moviefone’s gift guide. It’s a lot less practical than Lauck’s (think “Dumbledore gay pride” t-shirts), but, as a result, great eye candy and perfect fodder for internet procrastination. I know I at least am definitely getting that voice-changing Optimus Prime helmet for a, um, friend.


Become an “Enchanted” Disney character

November 21, 2007

Jumping on the Simpsons bandwagon, Disney has developed its own site for animated avatar creation – promising to turn your face into that of a character from the new film Enchanted or certain other Disney classics (such as Cinderella or Ariel from The Little Mermaid).

Sadly, for a company so famous for its animation classics (and for, well, how tightly controlled it is regarding uses of those classics), this site is, surprisingly, poorly executed. Less Simpsonize Me and more the Exorcist version of sticking your head through one of those cardboard cutouts at a fair.

And unfortunately, no, I’m not really exaggerating about that whole Exorcist thing. The program contorts the face from your submitted photo into various expressions, ranging from “evil” to “wink,” all while your head rotates creepily from side to side – cool idea in theory, I suppose, seriously disturbing in execution.

Plus, the steps it takes to actually get to the program are a bit mind-boggling for a movie geared towards (I’m just going to hazard a guess here and say…) children, or at the very least young adults and tweens, with that PG rating.

Here’s a general overview of what you have to do (for a PC user):

  1. Go to www.enchanted3dhead.com and click on “Start.”
  2. Give your name, email address, gender, and whether you’re an adult or child. Click “Submit.”
  3. Upload a photo and click “Enchant Me!”
  4. The site will then tell you that your photo has been submitted and that you will receive an email confirmation with a “link to your personalized download.” It says it might take a while; I’ve found it to be just a few minutes in general.
  5. Click on the link in the email. It will take you back to the original site where you select whether you have a MAC or PC.
  6. Download the file that it presents to you.
  7. Unzip, yes unzip, the downloaded file and save it to your computer.
  8. Open the file “Click Here to Start.” (You will see several other files, just ignore them)
  9. Read the instructions.
  10. See your face cut out from the submitted photo. Be warned: it moves. Choose from six different hairstyles, accessories, and faces. Faces, you say? But didn’t you already submit your own face? Best not to ask. Let’s just say that the placement of hand drawn eyebrows on your photo is involved. And it is worth mentioning that of the six “faces” available, five are male (Pinocchio, Peter Pan, etc.) – go figure.
  11. Go to the “Enchanted Photo Booth” to see your face distorted into different expressions of your own choosing.Or see your face transformed step by step from cut-out photo + 2D hair to animated Disney character. Take that as literally as humanly possible – in other words, you will not see a Cinderella version of you after the transformation, but instead just Cinderella.

Phew! Well, that was worth it…


Thanksgiving movie menu

November 19, 2007

Between the family infighting, the poor excuses for cooked turkey and the endless hours of golf discussions (that last one could just be my family…), let’s admit it, Thanksgiving can be tough to take sometimes, or at the very least a little overwhelming. Sure, you want to spend some good, quality time with Aunt Jaimie, but isn’t a few minutes enough?

Not to mention that classic Thanksgiving pastime: forcing everyone to watch holiday TV “specials,” also known as The Wizard of Oz with overexcited cousins for the 50th time and counting. Nothing against that time-honored film, of course, but after a while, enough is enough. Not even the strongest can survive a family get-together, underwhelming cooking and back-to-back showings of The Wizard all in one.

So here are some fun suggestions for your own type of holiday menu – a true meal for before, after, or even during (only the very brave need apply) the festivities themselves.

Amelie

Appetizer

Amélie – To put you in that light-hearted, forgiving, “let’s help other people!” mood that you’re going to need for an afternoon and evening of family politics. And to put the wonderful taste of crackling, melted, crème brulée sugar in your mouth – you know, as a sort of buffer against what’s to come…

Entrée (2 options)

Meet the Parents – Humor born out of desperation and tactless behavior all rolled into one. Yep, it’s definitely dinner time. And, of course, unlike any Thanksgiving I’ve ever heard of… Enjoy that extra helping of family disapproval!

Mean Girls – A sort of cleansing, cathartic, just let it all out experience for when the, uh, stuffing really starts flying. They can get revenge so you don’t feel the need to have to.

Side dish

A very special Thanksgiving episode – A quick, painless distraction from the main meal. Your favorite TV show must have at least one of them. Here are some excellent suggestions that span decades – I certainly can’t disagree with the trifle gone very, very wrong episode of Friends and the “I can slay and give thanks!” Buffy choice, at least.

Dessert

Ratatouille – Now that you’ve let it all out (and eaten most of the food, so a film about rats is more of a safe bet), time to bury your sorrows in sugar and butter. It’s gorgeous, it’s fun, it’s animated, and it’s even got cheese. The perfect, delectable end to a hopefully short evening.

Drinks (‘cuz god knows you’re gonna need ’em)

Old School – Unleash your inner college student (or soon-to-be, or currently are, or whatever the case may be) and embrace denial and total oblivion from the real world. Just to clarify: I am not advocating lots of heavy drinking here, but rather watching this film to get the same result, but better! (no hangover, see?)

(Alternative tasting menu for the less humor inclined: go to New York Magazine’s “Pre-Holiday Guide to Downer Films.” I have serious chart envy over this post.)


New York movies and video games

November 17, 2007

According to The Gothamist, a new and improved Ghostbusters video game from Vivendi’s Sierra will be coming to stores in Fall ’08 with appearances from all four main characters and some supporting characters.

Of course, this clearly begs the question, as the Gothamist puts it, “Which other New York-centric films should be made interactive?” Yes, I Am Legend (trailer with potential alert!) and that mystery with a capital M Cloverfield movie aren’t bad ideas, as they say. But the real mystery is why no one has ever mined the true heart of New York filmmaking: romantic comedies.

Appealing to both girls and, well, women, this somewhat Sims-esque game could take you through the crazy perils of romantic dating on the New York big screen. No, you say? But think of the possibilities:

Girls could choose between playing omega threat Meg Ryan and, uh, everyone else – such as Diane Keaton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Audrey Hepburn, and Deborah Kerr, with possible alternates Kate Beckinsale and Kate Hudson. They would have to decide whether to dump, hate, ignore, pine after, gossip to their friends about, cheat on, semi-stalk, toy with, and write love letters, emails or post-its to men like Tom Hanks, Woody Allen, Chris Noth, and potentially John Cusack and Matthew McConaughey. Not forgetting one to-be-determined classic male actor (Cary Grant or George Peppard? Or both?).

And it would all take place through gorgeous New York backdrops like the Upper West and East Sides (because what other neighborhoods are there in romantic comedies?), Central Park, the Empire State Building, and an exciting and dangerous, in a rescue – me – with – your – BMW sort of way, encounter with Times Square.

The goal would, naturally, be marriage (what else in a romcom?), or at least some sort of long-term commitment that you assume is going somewhere.

Yep. Any day now.

(or clearly I need the holidays to get here sooner… probably the latter)


Quotes – The Birdcage

November 16, 2007

A staple of my family’s collection when I was a teen, I find much of this movie extremely hilarious, perhaps more so than is normal (or so my friends tell me, anyway). This Robin Williams / Nathan Lane take on La Cage aux Folles was by no means universally liked (78% critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes), but all I can say is that I find certain lines very, very funny and addictively quotable. Perhaps it’s nostalgia for where I grew up, or nostalgia for Robin Williams back when (remember those days?), or just my own sense of humor, but whatever the reason, I often turn to this film on a rainy day (yes, literally and figuratively). It must have something to do with Hank Azaria’s – sorry, Agador Spartcus’s – “natural heat”…

Here are some of my favorite lines:

[when asked about a football game] How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered… [pause] Wrong response?

So this is Hell. And there’s a crucifix in it.

One does want a hint of a color.

I made you short?

– All right, I’ll bite, where are you going?
– To Los Copa.
– Los Copa? There’s nothing in Los Copa but a cemetery.
– I know, that’s why I’m packing light.
– Oh I see. You’re going to a cemetery… with your toothbrush. How Egyptian.

– What are you doing?
– What?
– Why are you giving him drugs? What the h*** are pirin tablets?
– It’s aspirin with the “a” and the “s” scraped off.
– My God, what a brilliant idea.
– I know.

– Who put Playboy in the bathroom?
– It’s what they read.
– Don’t add! Just subtract!

– No good?
– Actually, it’s perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.

For more quotes, go to IMDB. For Entertainment Weekly’s look at “funny film dads” Armand and Albert Goldman (remember, the “d” is silent), click here.